Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Bubble Boy Deja Vu--MIA All Over Again!!

On Monday before Hurricane Katrina, Boy George, Dirty Bush, just had to go to Rancho Cucamonga. On Tuesday, after the hurricane, he had to go to San Diego.

On both days, he had to not go to New Orleans.

That's 'cause Bubble Boy's trying to complete this five-week lap of a tough, compulsory, multiple-vacation-per-year performance schedule. Having vacations is--well, it's hard work.

I mean, it's hard trying to forget about Cindy Sheehan. It's hard trying to forget about having successfully created an Islamic State. It's hard going to barbeques filled with Fourth Estate Propaganda Stenographers, and it's real hard clearin' that brush.

It's hard trying to pump some empathy out of a charred, black heart. Pumpin' oil out of that charred, black heart, that might work, mm-hm.

It's just SO parallel with the tsunami thing, Bubble Boy's total utter lack of empathy thing.

When there was that tsunami thing, there was that stunning lack-of-any-empathic-sympathy-thing thing.

Remember that? Hundreds of thousands dead, and Bush responds as if he were popping a zit or adjusting his jock strap. Took his handlers three, four days to beat some pretense of empathy into him, and it didn't really take, did it?

With the Hurricane Katrina disaster, Bubble Boy Bush's response once again is--disaster.

Mr. President Heart-of-Darkness is, empathetically speaking, Missing in Action, once again.

Does Bubble Boy feel guilty for having sent all those National Guard people away from their state into the deserts of Iraq? Nah.

Does he feel guilty for having slashed FEMA funding to protect New Orleans from disasters just like the one that just happened? Nah.

Does he think going back to Washington will make him look like he's leaderish? Sorta, but mostly Bubble Boy desperately needed an excuse permanently to end his miserable 2005 Crawford vacation and make Cindy Sheehan and her Cindy-Sheehan-thing thing GO AWAY.

Bubble Boy said it at Harvard, his professor Professor Tsurumi, recalled it, and here it is: poor people are poor because they're lazy.


If they die because they're poor and therefore lack cars, money, resources, highground property, etc., in order to escape hurricanes like in New Orleans and Mississippi, it's their own damn fault, mm-hm.

Hey. Don't get all snivelly-liberal about it, dudes and dudettes. GOD smote the poor in New Orleans, not Bubble Boy. So don't expect Bubble Boy to feel bad about it.

Our Bubble Boy?

Shee-it. Nah. He don' feel bad about nothin'.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Bubble Boy: Sending Our Kids to Die For His Right to Remain A Maroon!

Well, not just for Bubble Boy's right to remain a maroon*. It's really about fighting for all his Bubble Boy-ist maroons' right to retain their maroon-ness.

It's the big-time Dirty Bush trifecta for America: fighting to bring us fiscal bankruptcy, moral bankruptcy, and the right to remain an unregenerate maroon!

You've got to admit, he's as good at doing the true trifecta as he is at clearing brush and raising money.

Number one--there's no money left for anything, really. They spent it all on tax cuts and the Bubble Boy's war. There being no money left was Bubble Boy's Grover-Norquistian plan. Starve the beast. Help government shrivel away and DIE. And it's really working! They're dismantling military bases left and right--mostly in blue states, as punishment for not being red states.

There's no money left for helping with hurricanes like Katrina, there's no money left to treat all the veterans their evil maroon war gave PTSD to, there's no money to inspect air travelers' luggage, there's no money to protect city subways, they're shutting down Walter Reed--who needs hospitals when people can just pray?

Number two--bringing us moral bankruptcy. Rumsfeld gives orders to torture prisoners, but they need to frame it like it isn't torture, but of course, it is. Rummy tells the military, the military tries to object, Rummy tells the military to shut the fuck up. Rummy sends the Gitmo Guy to Abu Ghraib, and "contractors" -- that would be mercenaries -- come in and tell the grunts what kind of torture they want, and against whom. Then the grunts get caught, the mercenaries vanish, the grunts go to jail. Perfecta trifecta. The photos come out, & recruiting for Al Qaeda triples.

Don't forget--the best photos are still to come! Yes, yes, we're SO a Christian nation, big-time! Who would Jesus NOT torture? Who would Jesus NOT assassinate?

Number three--puffing up with MAROON PRIDE! Sending our (well, really, YOUR) children to die so WE can continue to be maroons, act like maroons, make stupid decisions like maroons, lie through our teeths like maroons, poison our very own air and water and food like maroons, make fun of smart people like maroons do, big-time name-call all non-maroons, and then, oops, now post-Cindy we're starting to come apart at the seams, like maroons in despair.

Oh, dear. It's getting SO hard to keep that maroon pride going. There are these maroon mood swings that make aides wonder if they need to call the little men in white coats, there's a suddenly chain-smoking ex-librarian, there are temper tantrums, there's intermittent explosive-type events, oopsie, there is gnashing of teeth and stomping of feet, and minions trying to cover it all up.

Yes, of course Bubble Boy is upset. He's losing the war he wanted to win so he could be a war president!!

Chokes on pretzels, falls off Segways, starts wars to compete with his Daddy, but it turns out after all, that Father knew best. Oh, my. What a maroon.

(N.B. "What a ma-ROON!" reprises Bugs Bunny's classic phrase conferring moron stature on him or her to whom said phrase is directed. Bugs Bunny is, well, Bugs Bunny.)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Robertson Calls for Chavez Murder: God's Sixth Commandment Not Good Enough for Anti-Christ-ist Crackpot Right

What did you all expect? There are only two sides to this story: abortion on demand for the fully-grown post-born is just another virtuous aspect of "Intelligent Design" to Crackpot- Christ-ist Talibangelical televangeloquist Pat "Rev. Assassin" Robertson. Pregnancy termination for sentient beings so small that they can't survive on their own outside the womb, is, for these nuts, and according to "Peppermint Patty" Justice-in-waiting Roberts' notion, a massive screaming tragedy quite unlike the loss of life for Americans and Iraqis in Iraq.

Women forced by the government to carry to term pregnancies they know they can't properly care for--who cares? That's no damn tragedy. We like them girls barefoot and pregnant. Unwanted children--it's not as if they grow up to be murderers and serial killers, is it? Oh wait a minute. Yes, they do. Oopsie. Never mind.

You get it now? Fetuseses too small to live outside a woman's womb and embryoeses stuck in petri dishes--these are objects worthy of compassion.

Whereas, it's fine to fry these same embryoes once they're all grown up, in the electric chair, being shot, by injection, whatever, because now they deserve it.

It's fine to send these deserving, grown-up embryoes off to kill and die in war, even for lies and stupidity--they now don't deserve our compassion, nor do their bereaved moms.

Once these little embryoes grow up to be the the full-grown President of Venezuela, it's morally fine to assassinate them, should we have the urge.

This is what I mean about the American Taliban Crackpot Christ-ists. They must never have graduated from Sunday school.

The Sixth Commandment was too far down on the list for them to pay attention to it, maybe that's why they're so hot to have it posted in public places, they have such a hard time remembering what they actually say.

These Old Testamentarian "believers"--they can't keep the ten commandments, and they apparently have overlooked the actual life and the actual words of compassionate liberal Jesus.

Beatitudes? Nah. The Golden Rule? Pussy.

Not taking life?

What, you kidding? You expect loudmouth Pat Robertson to practice what he preaches?


Monday, August 22, 2005

Bubble Boy Wastes Blood & Treasure to Install Medievalist Islamic Theocracy: Mainstream Media Mum

Yes, well, we announced Bush's great Iraqi victory for medieval Islam yesterday, and today we link to the hardly-surprising story of the supression of the story by the mainstream media.

Mainstream Media, you're just not full of surprises, are you? Bubble Boy sure does have your peckers in his pocket, to quote LBJ, a guy who knew all about that sort of thing.

I remember the good old days, when men were men, and journalists were journalists, and Bob Woodward wasn't just a Mr. Potato-Head wearing a fake smile and a tie.

The olden days . . . when there really was a Fourth Estate . . . ----


by Doug Ireland
Senior Contributing Editor

If the Bush administration brokered a deal in Occupied Iraq to enshrine Islamic law as the guiding principle of the new Iraqi Constitution, you'd think it would be headline news in the U.S. media, wouldn't you? Well, that's what has happened -- yet you can search the Sunday papers in vain to find this sell-out to the Islamists clearly portrayed -- or, in some cases, even mentioned.

In a dispatch that Reuters moved at 1:33 P.M. on Saturday (August 20), the headline reads, "U.S. concedes ground to Islamists on Iraqi law." "U.S. diplomats have conceded ground to Islamists on the role of religion in Iraq, negotiators said on Saturday as they raced to meet a 48-hour deadline to draft a constitution under intense U.S. pressure," Reuters reported. "Shi'ite, Sunni and Kurdish negotiators all said there was accord on a bigger role for Islamic law than Iraq had before."

And we Americans, who are footing the bill in all senses, just couldn't be happier!

Thanks a lot, Bubble Boy!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Huzzah! Bubble Boy Brings Back Burqas!

Bubble Boy bombed Baghdad to bring burqas back for bagging Iraqi babes, and he's succeeded beyond his wildest dreams! Deal with victory, scum-sucking, latte-drinking hate-America-first libruls!

Bush's secret intention, also a total success, was to install in Iraq a medievalist Islamic Theocracy! Right next to another medievalist Islamic Theocracy! Ha ha! Two in a row! Din'tcha ever hear of the Domino Theory?

All that crap about Saddam, and those horrible threatening WMDs was just--crap. We'll admit it now, ok? It was a ruse. Deal with it, sheeple.

Next to the Domino Theory, see, is the Dominionist Theory. That's where the juice is, and that's how, even though it LOOKS like Bubble Boy's really screwed things up in Iraq bad, just like the libruls warned that he would, we can now proudly state that Bubble Boy really hasn't fucked up beyond all recognition, you just have to take the longer view.

Here's the point: the up-and-coming, American uber-crackpot-Christianist-cult of Dominionism is medievalist, too!

Dominionists want to bring back neat stuff like, well, Mosaic Law!

Not so durn far from--Shari'a Law!

Let's look:

" . . . enforcement of the Mosaic Law will involve the application of the death penalty for such capital crimes as murder, rape, kidnapping, bestiality, incest, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, idolatry, witchcraft, the offering of human sacrifice, unchangeable rebellion in adolescent children, flagrant negligence resulting in the death of another person, blasphemy, apostasy, the spreading of false doctrines, and perhaps Sabbath breaking."

"Unchangeable rebellion in adolescent children" punishable by death? Well, well!

Let's look further:

"The reconstructed society will regard dissenters and heretics as treasonous criminals at war with the law and society."

Well, the rightwing screamfest lip-flappers are doing that anyway, so we're ahead of the game so far.

And what about:

"The reconstructed society will also be characterized by the rights of private property, a free market economy bordering on libertarianism, tight limitations on debt, the abolition of 30-year mortgages, a monetary system based on the gold standard, the tithe rather than public taxes financing most social welfare, restitution of wrong rather the imprisonment for many criminals, and voluntary slavery for purposes such as the restitution of a wrong or the desire for financial security . . . . [oh, so is this what the new marriage is all about? I especially like the part where women are legal chattel to men, and are handed from ownership by fathers to ownership by husbands with no independent decision-making at any time. Makes one feel so--secure.]"

You see, once the rising Taliban Christians here in America impose their medievalist Christian theocracy, it will nicely parallel the medievalist Islamic Theocracy in Iraq. The one that Bubble Boy created using our tax dollars and the blood of our children.

It's kind of an Intelligent Design thing, you know?

Or, what was that old saying--"stupid is as stupid does"?

Monday, August 15, 2005

Dirty Bush to Vets, Part Deux: First, We Maim Your Minds, Then We Dump You. It's Hard Work.

Here, the story of Sgt. Daniel Cotnoir, a returned Iraq vet whose Iraq assignment was re-assembling the body parts of bombically disassembled humans. Think about that for a moment, or two. He came under psychological fire now that he's back home.

Will this returned soldier be able to meet the magic stress test so he can receive benefits due to a psychologically-maimed troop? Or will he be one of those veterans fobbed off onto the penal system, or else systematically down-graded to a lesser diagnosis in order to save the Bushist government more money?

See below.

Tell me again, Dirty Bush, why isn't there enough money to care for our soldiers? There's plenty of money for drilling offshore oil, and Alaska oil, and suchlike.

Just wondering.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Dirty Bush to Vets: First We Maim Your Minds, Then We Dump You

No surprises, really. An administration that cuts taxes for rich folks and cuts corners for regular military folks, letting troops risking their lives go into battle without armor. Body armor, armor for vehicles; hey, dudes, you know, you have to invade countries that didn't invade you with the armor you have, not the armor you wish you had.

Now, finally cognizant that they've pissed away the Clinton surplus with their psychotic tax-cuts and no-tax-just-spendism, the Dirty Bushists are trying to balance the budget on the backs of psych-maimed vets.

Wow. Nice one.

Here's the technique: you take "another look" at your current military veterans who have been diagnosed with post-traumatic-stress disorder (you know, that thing that often happens when a guy or gal spends a lot of time watching buddies explode into masses of blood and guts, watching innocent civilians explode into shreds and piles of blood and guts, eye-witnessing various categories of human beings being slaughtered freely so they leave little indelible pieces of their brain and skin on your uniform and on your mind-stream, and so on).

Next, you try to CUT OFF as many of these suffering vets as possible from benefits, such as receiving disability pay and receiving standard of care psychological treatment for PTSD (you know, the kind of treatment which could cure their suffering).

How do you cut them off from benefits? Why, you cleverly "un-diagnose" them. You just move them from one column to the next. You say, your symptoms, debilitating as they are, just AREN'T enough as of today, so we now say, you're fine, just fine, we just don't give a shit. We don't care.

[post-Cindy-at-Crawford update: aha. A true Bushist leitmotif: We don't care! We don't care! We don't care! And, you know, they actually don't!]

Deal with it, major dudes. Commit suicide, homicide, who cares, tough nuts, it's all your fault if you're all fucked up now. Once you're dead, or in jail, we don't have to pay for your psychotherapy anymore. Heh, heh.

Isn't that charming? Isn't that just the way to save a buck?

There's more at Salon:

"Outraged vets say . . . plan is a callous attempt to cuts the costs of an increasingly expensive war."

Easy to sum up the Dirty Bushists: heartless, brainless, soulless.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

"Hubris"? What "Hubris"?

People are getting so cranky about this blog's name. Well, to them I say: I'm right, and you're wrong. So there.

It is all about Dirty Bush's hubris. So there. It is all about cooking up an Oedipal war in Iraq so he could show up his actual Daddy, Poppy Bush, with whom he once had a fist-fight.

Oedipal? Oedipal? We all on board with that notion? Son killing father, that sort of thing? Son competing against Father? Need to show Daddy I'm a better man than he?

"AH invaded Iraq and went all the way to Baghdad, and you din't. You were just too pussy, Daddy. Nanner, nanner. An' you couldn't stop me. An' nobody could stop me. Not Brent. Not George. Not nobody, not no one.

'Cuz ah'm preznit and you're not. 'Cuz all those people who told me ah'd amount to a pile of bull crap were wrong, 'cuz ah'm the preznit. Ah kin invade any place ah want, 'cuz ah'm the preznit!

And nobody kin stop me. Heh, heh."

Will Ferrell says it best, here.

Now, about this Oedipal business--the bad thing for Bubble Boy Bush is--turns out that Father knew best. Invading Iraq versus not invading Iraq. You know, that sort of thing. Oh well. Oopsie for Bubble Boy.