Saturday, April 18, 2009

Secret Bushist Fascist Pro-Torture Sadist Sez: DON'T TELL THE TERRORISTS ABOUT THE CHINESE WATER TORTURE! THEY'LL IMPLANT EXTRA LUNGS!

God, I do hate the stupid. I really do. I know it's wrong of me -- even rong of me. But I do.

F*ck.

From [Cheney? Rummy] some dude some dude at Politico listened to:

“It's damaging because these are techniques that work, and by Obama's action today, we are telling the terrorists what they are,” the official said. “We have laid it all out for our enemies. This is totally unnecessary. … Publicizing the techniques does grave damage to our national security by ensuring they can never be used again . . .


No, really, it's true, we need to keep the whole BAMBOO SLIVERS UNDER THE FINGERNAILS THING reallly hush-hush. You talk about stuff like that, and whoa, you SO lose the Element of Surprise!

Yeah, we all better shut up about BOILING PEOPLE IN OIL because really, it might give them ideas, you know what copycats them terrists is.

And really, STFU about all our copyrighted 60 WAYS OF MAKING HUMANS REALLY REALLY REALLY WISH THEY WERE DEAD because nobody could have imagined -- oh wait, that's about the other -- because if they find out what we did, then bad things will happen. Like they'll to it to us. Of course, they want to do those thing to us anyway.

Or more like, what if they find out that we were like into anal rape of kids well that wouldn't be good would it? Remember those tapes at Abu Ghraib that so suddenly disappeared because they were like, um, just toooooo awful? Well this stuff is just toooo awful, too. That's why we want to shut up about it, and we're hassling Obama into shutting up about it, and that's why we're going to get away with it because all the evil things we've done are just tooooo vile, so, you know, STFU!! How hard is that?

It's not like we planned it that way. Oh well, of course we did, but like, hey. Any means to the end. Wait that's a commie thing. Like being a socialist. Socialist means someone who wants to take his kids to the doctor. We want doctors to revive our torturees so they're awake enough to FEEL THEIR excruciating pain. Now, that's not socialist. We bushist fascist teabag sadists, of course, feel no pain, we just inflict it. On others. We don't even feel our own pain.

Wow. There ya go.


WE BUSHIST FASCIST SADIST TEABAGGERS DON'T FEEL ANYONE'S PAIN, ESPECIALLY NOT OUR OWN.

I mean, how cool is that? See? Torture works!



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2 comments:

Kvatch said...

I was reading today about US use of insects to torture kids. Seems to me it's one thing to go after adults, but kids? Mother puss-bucket! Wonder if this will set a fire under Congress?

No Blood for Hubris said...

Classic methods of torture, really. You bring in family members. Torture them. Torturee then tells you whatever you want. Not likely to be true, of course. But they will tell you whatever you want. Once they figure out what story you are wanting to hear.