Friday, October 07, 2005

What's Wrong With Daryn Kagan? I Mean, Eee-EEW

OK, so clearly we're not trying to talk Lysistrata, here, No Blood for Hubris does not expect either foresight or perspicacity from any rabid Reichwingers, and they probably have to sleep with somebody who's one of their own, since none of the rest of us is going to, God knows. There may be some reichwingers who just don't sleep with anybody until they get permission (like Judge "Peppermint Patty" Roberts and his late-in-life wife, Mrs. Patty. Presumably, they, as good Catholics, didn't sleep with anybody until they got married, and who knows what happened then, they still adopted. And made their poor little adopted son wear short pants so his little knobby knees show. So sorry, kid.).

But why would anybody in his or her right mind sleep with Rush Limbaugh? Eee-eew. Or even hold hands with him. Or even anything. I mean, maybe Phyllis Schlafly would. Maybe Jeanne Kirkpatrick. Maybe Lucianne Goldberg.

Maybe.

Conversely, anybody who would sleep with him, is clearly not in his or her right mind.

I mean, he's fat.

Thus, he's one of the "Bell Curve" inert.

He's not even cute fat, much less sexy cute fat, like James Gandolfini.

Rush is stupid. He's an hysteric. Therefore, he's very undesirable.

To all but idiots.

He's been married three times, and with no kids to show for it. Birth control? Abortion? Infertility? Impotence?

He's been called, memorably, a "drug-addled, gay-bashing, woman-hating, bigoted bag of pus."

He cowarded out of the military because of some big fat horribly-Abu-Ghraib-ly insufferably painful anal cyst.

What was Daryn Kagan thinking?

OK, so she's looking a little butch these days, what with the funny nose job and the puffy lips, but still, she's not hopeless. Is she?

What is Daryn Kagan thinking of?

Maybe she is hopeless. Maybe that's why they're "together." Maybe that's why she writes him "love notes," sucking up to him on national TV while she's supposed to be objectively reporting the uh, news.

Unprofessional.

Not to mention: tasteless, tasteless, tasteless. I mean, which is worse: him in hip-high leather boots with her in chains, or her in stilletto heels giving Tubby Druggie a good, long painful James Dobsonian cat-o'-nine-tails whippin'?

Feh.

Why is she not completely embarassed that he refers to her as "my mistress" on national radio? "My mistress from Georgia." Has he no decency? At long last, has she no decency?

Does she not get that it comes out like "my slut"?

Is that what the black-heart neo-cons' hideous screaming fight to overturn the right to privacy was all about?

Ee-EEW.

5 comments:

No Blood for Hubris said...

I found the following just now at Jesus' General and had to add its preciousness; it was a secretly discovered email from a jihadist intent on neutralizing the infidel's propaganda apparatus:


"To Daryn Kagan:

Open your eyes the next time you're with him and you'll understand why the very thought of such a coupling induces projectile vomiting in normal people."

Delhui said...

You have made my day.

IowaNiceGuy said...

Daryn Kagan - what an ice queen. She snapped that poor fact-checker's head off.

And, ewwwwwww, the thought of Rush - I can't even finish the thought without wanting to bathe in bleach.

No Blood for Hubris said...

"Bathe in bleach."

Well put!

Jami said...

yeah, what is it with james gandolfini?