Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happily There's No Such Thing As Mormon Masturbation

The burgeoning (swelling?) Talibangelical American godly anti-masturbation movement is providing a jam-packed list of helpful hints on how to avoid self-abuse, now available for your delectation at Jesus' General:


Sample tips:

"When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror."

"When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you."

But there's more, much more, where those came from: Words of Mormon Wisdom.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

What with hotties like Marie and Donnie Osmond who has to masturbate?

democommie

Alicia Morgan said...

My favorite part is the 'bathtub full of worms'. But what if you're really, really into worms?

No Blood for Hubris said...

Lol!!

Generic Viagra said...

Thank you! Your help is appreciated, Very very interesting article. Thanks for collecting and providing so much info. Erectile dysfunction is certainly a curse to the mankind as because of it many couples are ending their marriages because of the unsatisfactory sex life. Erectile dysfunction has lead to divorce among many couples in the world. It happens in rare cases that a couple shares a healthy relationship without having a satisfactory sex life . The unsatisfactory sex makes the woman feel inadequate, contributing to rejection, loneliness and depression. Thus, it is very necessary for the men to discuss with their female partners if they are suffering with the erectile dysfunction. The female partners should support their husbands in treating the erectile dysfunction.Don’t worry about the erectile dysfunction because it is 100% treated with the help of medicines like Generic Viagra