Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happily There's No Such Thing As Mormon Masturbation

The burgeoning (swelling?) Talibangelical American godly anti-masturbation movement is providing a jam-packed list of helpful hints on how to avoid self-abuse, now available for your delectation at Jesus' General:

Sample tips:

"When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror."

"When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you."

But there's more, much more, where those came from: Words of Mormon Wisdom.


Anonymous said...

What with hotties like Marie and Donnie Osmond who has to masturbate?


Alicia Morgan said...

My favorite part is the 'bathtub full of worms'. But what if you're really, really into worms?

No Blood for Hubris said...


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