Saturday, August 20, 2005

Huzzah! Bubble Boy Brings Back Burqas!

Bubble Boy bombed Baghdad to bring burqas back for bagging Iraqi babes, and he's succeeded beyond his wildest dreams! Deal with victory, scum-sucking, latte-drinking hate-America-first libruls!

Bush's secret intention, also a total success, was to install in Iraq a medievalist Islamic Theocracy! Right next to another medievalist Islamic Theocracy! Ha ha! Two in a row! Din'tcha ever hear of the Domino Theory?

All that crap about Saddam, and those horrible threatening WMDs was just--crap. We'll admit it now, ok? It was a ruse. Deal with it, sheeple.

Next to the Domino Theory, see, is the Dominionist Theory. That's where the juice is, and that's how, even though it LOOKS like Bubble Boy's really screwed things up in Iraq bad, just like the libruls warned that he would, we can now proudly state that Bubble Boy really hasn't fucked up beyond all recognition, you just have to take the longer view.

Here's the point: the up-and-coming, American uber-crackpot-Christianist-cult of Dominionism is medievalist, too!

Dominionists want to bring back neat stuff like, well, Mosaic Law!

Not so durn far from--Shari'a Law!

Let's look:

" . . . enforcement of the Mosaic Law will involve the application of the death penalty for such capital crimes as murder, rape, kidnapping, bestiality, incest, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, idolatry, witchcraft, the offering of human sacrifice, unchangeable rebellion in adolescent children, flagrant negligence resulting in the death of another person, blasphemy, apostasy, the spreading of false doctrines, and perhaps Sabbath breaking."

"Unchangeable rebellion in adolescent children" punishable by death? Well, well!

Let's look further:

"The reconstructed society will regard dissenters and heretics as treasonous criminals at war with the law and society."

Well, the rightwing screamfest lip-flappers are doing that anyway, so we're ahead of the game so far.

And what about:

"The reconstructed society will also be characterized by the rights of private property, a free market economy bordering on libertarianism, tight limitations on debt, the abolition of 30-year mortgages, a monetary system based on the gold standard, the tithe rather than public taxes financing most social welfare, restitution of wrong rather the imprisonment for many criminals, and voluntary slavery for purposes such as the restitution of a wrong or the desire for financial security . . . . [oh, so is this what the new marriage is all about? I especially like the part where women are legal chattel to men, and are handed from ownership by fathers to ownership by husbands with no independent decision-making at any time. Makes one feel so--secure.]"

You see, once the rising Taliban Christians here in America impose their medievalist Christian theocracy, it will nicely parallel the medievalist Islamic Theocracy in Iraq. The one that Bubble Boy created using our tax dollars and the blood of our children.

It's kind of an Intelligent Design thing, you know?

Or, what was that old saying--"stupid is as stupid does"?


Anonymous said...

Love the alliteration in your opening line!

Came here via your comment at Eschaton--I did not know about the razor punishment for wearing lipstick.

Not that that's the worst thing done to women, but Oh. My. God.


No Blood for Hubris said...

It's not an official punishment per court of law, but something roving bands of Islamic law enforcers liked to do--along with throwing acid in women's faces.