THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GLOBAL WARMING, LOVE FROM KATRINA (& KISSES FROM TORNADOS, FOREST FIRES, HEATWAVES & OTHER ANOMALOUS WEATHER EVENTS)

DEAR DIRTY BUSH AND DIRTY DICK--

NO ONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT WEDNESDAY WILL BE THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE WEEK...AS HIGH TEMPERATURES APPROACH 100 DEGREES. HEAT INDICES ARE LIKELY TO REACH AROUND 110 DEGREES WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON...WITH ISOLATED VALUES NEAR 115 DEGREES POSSIBLE.

PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST 1975 WILL FIND SIMILARITIES TO THIS SPELL OF HOT WEATHER.

DON'T READ MORE ABOUT THIS, HERE.

THIS WILL BE AN EXTREME EVENT. THE HEAT WILL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE A SERIOUS LIFE THREATENING SITUATION IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN...ESPECIALLY FOR THE ELDERLY...CHILDREN...AND THOSE WHO WORK OUTSIDE BETWEEN 11 AM AND 6 PM EACH DAY.

PEOPLE SHOULD PLAN ON ALTERING THEIR DAILY ROUTINE...IN ORDER TO REDUCE THE RISK OF HEAT EXHAUSTION...OR WORSE...BEING A CASUALTY OF LIFE THREATENING HEAT STROKE.

AVOID STRENUOUS OUTDOOR ACTIVITY...ESPECIALLY FROM LATE MORNING THROUGH THE EVENING...AND SPEND TIME IN AIR CONDITIONING IF POSSIBLE.

MAKE SURE ROOMS REMAIN PROPERLY VENTILATED IF AIR CONDITIONING IS NOT AVAILABLE...BY OPENING WINDOWS AND USING FANS. THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT FOR THOSE IN THE URBAN CENTERS.

AN EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN HIGH HUMIDITIES ARE EXPECTED TO COMBINE WITH HOT TEMPERATURES RESULTING IN HEAT INDICES OF 105 DEGREES OR GREATER. AVOID PROLONGED WORK IN THE SUN OR POORLY VENTILATED AREAS. ALSO...DRINK PLENTY OF WATER AND TRY TO STAY IN AN AIR CONDITIONED ENVIRONMENT.
(Unless you're too poor to have air conditioning or too poor to live in an area where the electricity fails to fail. If you're poor, according to Preznit Toad-Exploder when he was an legacy grad student at Harvard, that's your own damn fault. So there.)

AVOID READING THE DREADFUL LIBRUL MEDIA LIKE this AND THIS HERE STORY IN THE WAPO, DEAR DIRTY BUSH AND DIRTY DICK, IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOUR BLOOD BOIL, AND THATS NOT GOOD. REALLY THINGS HAVE BEEN HOT ALL ALONG. GOD MADE IT THAT WAY FOR A REASON. GOD MADE WHITE-OUT, TOO, AND THAT'S HOW WE'RE REALLY GOING TO GET RID OF GLOBAL WARMING. HA HA.

LOVE & KISSES, from

ALL THE ABOVE-MENTIONED NON-EXISTENT WEATHER EVENTS THAT DON'T REALLY MATTER HA HA


oh and ps dont get upset when those reality-based libruls start shouting GET THE SNAKES OFF THE PLANE! 'n stuff its just some metaphor or something dont worry about it really i swear







global warming
Snakes On a Plane