Sunday, January 29, 2006

Bubble Boy's SOTU Zombie Jamboree -- Health Benefits for the UnDead!

You got that right. Bubble Boy's solved the American health care crisis. Now we're having health benefits for the UnDead. Only.

It's the SOTU Zombie Jamboree, with the latest notion from the Bushist Fascist Confederacy of UnDead Dunces shrieking toward the State of the Union-issue-hungry media whore media with that very special sound of rabbits screaming.

Get this -- according to our fanatical up-is-down-ist Preznit Fearless Leader Bubble Boy Toad Exploder, and his Bushist fascist ilk, the whole problem with Americans' health care is that --- THEY ALREADY HAVE TOO GOL-DURN MUCH OF IT!!

One kids you not.

Sure, it was bad enough when the Bushist fascists got rid of global warming by just whiteing it out with -- white-out. Or when they got rid of government racial problems by -- snipping them out of reports. Or when they got rid of pesky anti-torturists and pesky anti-breaking-the-law lawyers in the Justice Department by -- just getting rid of them.

The up-is-down-ists feel they're on a roll.

So, now that they've pissed away the Clinton-Gore surplus, started a war and lost a war and started a civil war, squandered trillions of dollars in the process, failed to find Bin Laden (who?), seeded the federal government with greedy, useless incompetents, screwed up the economy so that millions of formerly middle class Americans no longer have pensions, they're ready for their next move: reduce health care benefits for every American.

Single payer government system? Why? Can't I be just as greedy and selfish as I want? Isn't that really the American way?

Employer-funded system? Nah.

Well, see, if Americans depend upon their employers for health care, it makes it harder for them to be more mobile. The UnDead want freer labor.

Yeah, we don't have enough freedom now to be bounced from job to job. We don't have enough freedom now for a hard bout with cancer completely to bankrupt ourselves and our families. Yeah, we don't have enough freedom now to go without the medications we need because of the squalor we live in and the three jobs that we need to sorta pay the rent and the crap food that we buy because it's right in front of our noses. We don't have enough freedom now to go bankrupt paying for education loans so we can get an education so we don't have to have a crap job but then we don't have a crap job but we have a crap life, because we can't afford to be educated people because why should the government support anything except Star Wars and Halliburton?

Why shouldn't the poor and the middle class have crappier health care than the greedy UnDead? They're poor! They're middle class! Why should the UnDead pay for them?

You know, it's a real baad thing to pull the plug on a brain-dead lady, but quite a fine, freedomy thing to withhold health care benefits for people who can walk and talk and work three jobs at crap wages.

Look at the twins. They don't have jobs, and they have health care.

Poor people are poor because they're lazy, don't you get it?

Bow, kneel now to the divine UnDead. Bow before Bush, Cheney, Rummy, Frist, and the rest of Grover Norquist's whacked-out Bubble Boy bubble-bath bathtub government drowners.

They don't even know if they're dead or alive, and they sure don't care if you and yours are.

Back to back, ghoul, belly to belly

Well, I don't give a damn 'cause I'm stone dead already, yeah

Back to back, mon, belly to belly

It's a zombie jamboree


Lily said...

brings new meaning to simultaneous revisionism...

enigma4ever said...

well, now that my head has exploded....again...thank you for those little revelations about yet ANOTHER flawed piece of shit system...

Neil Shakespeare said...

He's right. Cheney is being allowed far too many visits to the hospital! Doesn't he know that just drives the 'cost-drivers' up? And for what? A big toe?! C'mon! If that isn't one of those 'needless' visits to the hospital, I don't know what is. Now, if he went in for brain surgery that would be another matter...

No Blood for Hubris said...

Some of Cheney's friends feel that he is indeed NOT the man he was some decades ago - -