Jeez, Louise! NSA Sez--Our Lips 'R' Sealed

Re: Letter received here yesterday marked "Department of Defense."

My heart skips a beat!! At last! Rummy's telling me he's sorry, so sorry for everything he's done wrong? And he's checking himself into Gitmo for complete re-education on torture and sadism and national defense?

Nuh-uh. It's about my asking for a copy of records NSA maintains on me, you know NSA, that agency Bubble Boy, Preznit Toad-Exploder, unconstitutionally tasked to spy on American citizens without permission from the FISA court?

Oops. In my haste I misread that name, and just noticed now that my correspondent is in fact Louis F. Giles, Director of Policy, not Louise, he who wrote the following on 12 January 2006, and which was received here one week later, from Louis not Louise.

[But I like how the title turned out, so, like, what-everrr. Sorta like thinking the war in Iraq is the logical extension of the war in Afghanistan, is it not?]

Dear No Blood for Hubris:

This responds to your 19 December request [I clicked onto a link someone had posted as a comment on AmericaBlog, I think] which was received in this office on 19 December 2005, for a copy of all records this Agency [capitalized!] maintains on you. Your request has been processed under the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act [FOIA] and Privacy Act [PA}.

Personnel management files are maintained on NSA/CSS affiliates. Therefore, a search of our most comprehensive filing system which include applicant, personnel, security, medical, and training was conducted. Our records reflect that you have never been affiliated with this Agency; thus, no records were located. In addition, there are no fees associated with the processing of your case since your request meets the requirements of the PA for which there are no fees.

The fact that we were unable to locate records responsive to your request may be considered by you as an adverse determination, [hmm?] and you are hereby advised of this Agency's appeal procedures. Any person denied access to information may file an appeal to the NSA/CSS FOIA/PA Appeal Authority [lots of capitals] {DC34}, National Security Agency, 9800 Savage Road STE 6248, Fort George G. Meade, MD 20755-6248. To aid in processing the appeal, it should reference the inability of the Agency to locate records on you and should contain, in sufficient detail and particularity, the grounds upon which you believe this Agency maintains records on you. The NSA/CSS Appeal Authority will endeavor to respond to the appeal within 20 working days after receipt, absent unusual circumstances.

Sincerely,

Louis F. Giles
Director of Policy

So--what's a blogger to do? Send Louis/Louise a link to Your Tax Dollars Fund NSA to Spy on Quaker Peaceniks? Don't they have one already?

And what's all this coy stuff about only having "records" on people who used to work for them? Oh. Wait. Maybe Osama Bin Laden did used to work for them. Back in the olden days, when he was America's Freedom Fighter Against the Godless Communist Soviets?

Records, schmecords. What do they call information they keep on Quaker Peaceniks, if not records?

Perhaps it's time to FOIA the FBI, too.

What think ye, O citzens of Blogistan?




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