Sunday, February 26, 2006

SERFIN' U-S-A!! . . . (an appreciation of Corporation Appreciation Week, for the CorruptCo Blogfest)

How do we love thee, Bushist fascist corporate corporations of America?

Let us count the ways:

We love thee for pimp-slapping us out of the very notion of pensions.
We love thee for pimp-slapping us out of the very notion of job security.
We love thee for pimp-slapping us out of the very notion of health benefits.
We love thee for pimp-slapping us out of the very notion of a single job being enough to support anyone, much less a family.

We love thee for destroying unions and making us love you for it lest we lose our jobs.

We love thee for disabusing us of the notion that "factory workers at successful companies can achieve a secure, relatively prosperous middle-class life for themselves."

We love thee for creatively creating useless products like Coke and Pepsi which have no nutritional value and yet make beeg money.

We love thee for creatively creating and selling useless products like Camels, Marlboros, etc. etc., totally unecessary & addictive items which actually ruin health and/or kill and yet make beeg money.

We love thee for creatively creating and hypnotically selling products like McDonald's and Burger King and Wendy's junk food made out of junk which contribute to obesity and illness and yet make beeg money (see Left of Center's Corruptco post here on high fructose corn syrup and bring your barf bag).

We love thee for successfully poisoning the natural environment and getting away with it, so far.

We love thee for buying and installing Preznit Toad-Exploder who has never actually held an actual job, like both his daughters and I think his mother, and who therefore is able to slap an innocent lady citizen on the back as congratulations to her for her good luck to be living in a country like America where she can hold three jobs--three!--at once.

We love thee for buying and installing Preznit Toad-Exploder who exploded toads in his youth.
We love thee for buying and installing Preznit Toad-Exploder who thinks that invading Iraq and thus making money for Halliburton, the Carlisle Group, and KBR and the rest of the military-industrial complex is way more important than the actual lives of actual troops or the actual lives of actual citizens.

We love thee for always putting profits before people and therefore providing us a sense of security in this impermanent world.

We love thee for your iron grip on corporate media, and your continuing hypnotic hold on the American populace.

We love thee for Enron's happiness at successfully stealing money from little old ladies in California.

We love thee for replacing the notion of American labor with the notion of American serfdom; for replacing noblesse oblige with pure greed and ego; for replacing three classes with the classic two: haves and have -nots--and for blaming the have-nots for not having.

We love thee for not giving a shit about anyone but yourselves.
We love thee for thinking that giving a shit about anyone but yourselves is somehow "quaint," not unlike the Geneva Conventions.

Not only do we love thee, but we worship thee and we bow down.

Ha.




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This post is part of the CorruptCo Blogfest, created by LosetheNoose.

8 comments:

Neil Shakespeare said...

And don't forget about the breadth and depth to which these assholes can reach.

No Blood for Hubris said...

Shudder.

LILY BRANFORD said...

Thanks, NB!!!! I am creating a list of all of the posts, as they are put up, so we can surf around exploring this lovely theme. Get out your barf bags.

I'm just in the process of getting the links together, then I'll try to add to it as we go along.

What a tribute!

Left of Center said...

I love it! Use your anger.. let it feed you and provoke new and more explosive rants! Bushco will feel your karmic energy pulsing deep in their festering bowels!

AJ said...

Great post! Why get mad when you can laugh and get the "others" mad at you for laughing!

enigma4ever said...

Great Tribute....hmm, or is it more of a rant ? I might have to go retrieve the Rant Tierra back from Dada....( it has been dented, dropped, and is a tad tarnished- but you have earned it here ;-)

brandongeraghty said...

Rant, tribute, whatever. I loved it!

dusty said...

say it loud and say it proud.