Sunday, December 17, 2006

Official No Blood for Hubris Mental Health Interlude (#8)

Ho ho ho.

"A new poll shows that one in five Americans believe they can't trust President Bush. To put it another way, more Americans would be comfortable accepting a ride from Nicole Richie." -- David Letterman

"They had the Iraqi Commission report and President Bush says he will not make a decision about getting us out of Iraq until 2007. He says he wants to give it some careful thought . . . unlike getting us into Iraq." -- David Letterman
"Here's an interesting lawsuit. A judge has ruled that because all paper money feels the same, the government discriminates against the blind. I think that's unfair. The government doesn't discriminate against the blind. Hey, isn't that who got us into Iraq?" -- Jay Leno

"The president of Iran . . . is holding a conference on whether or not the Holocaust actually took place. . . . The good news? The conference is being catered by Taco Bell." -- Jay Leno

"President Bush has received a copy of the 96-page Iraq Study Group report. When they gave it to him, President Bush said, 'Don't tell me how it ends!' They said, 'Uh, it doesn't.'" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney's daughter, who happens to be a lesbian, is pregnant. ... That's great. It gives Dick another chance to get out the shotgun." -- David Letterman

"The Christmas tree at the White House fell over. Actually, it didn't fall over. What happened was President Bush was standing next to it when a photographer walked in. I guess the tree was trying to distance himself from President Bush." -- Jay Leno

The long anticipated Iraq Study Group report was delivered to President Bush recently. He promised to take it just as seriously as all the other Iraq reports stuffed down between his desk and the wall." -- Amy Poehler

"You know the part of the Iraqi report that concerns President Bush the most? Having to read it." --Jay Leno

"Exciting news from the White House. Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter, Mary, who is a lesbian, is pregnant. I think President Bush is a little confused about the big news. He immediately called the Lebanese Ambassador to pass on his congratulations." -- Jay Leno
"Mary Cheney said today she doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, so long as it grows up to be a gym teacher." -- Jay Leno

1 comment:

Libby Spencer said...

Thanks so much. I forget to laugh sometimes.