Gag Barbara With a (Silver) Spoon.

Dear Non-College-Graduate and Unrepentant Me-First-ist Barbara Bush:

I'm wondering, why does your beautiful little mind feel "sort of scarey" about the prospect of people of color moving into your white-bread neighborhood? Are you afraid property values will go down?

Are you the one who taught your pig-headedly-ignorant, egomaniacal, animal-abusing, borderline-sociopathic son that "poor people are poor because they're lazy"*?

(*See below: "Bubble Boy Deja Vu: MIA All Over Again")

Are you the one who taught your Bubble Boy not to bother about counting body bags, perhaps because those persons they contain are dead already, so therefore one's beautiful mind might as well be pointed elsewhere as the dead can provide one with no particular advantages?

Are you the one who taught Bubble Boy that being an abortionist of the post-born was karmically correct but that, on the other hand, all the embryoes in test tubes with big round sad eyes are the ones who much more truly deserve Bubble Boy's help and compassion? Just asking.

Say, Babs, considering your remark that it was "scarey" that all these black folk might be movin' into your Texas neighborhood, what's your response to Rep. Baker of Baton Rouge's comments: "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did."

Do you agree? I'm betting you do.

You know who else agrees with Rep. Baker that God did this, and agrees with you, that this Katrina disaster is "working very well'?

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi.

Yo. Politics does make strange bedfellows.

Miz Bush, here's another fun fact about New Orleans. It's going to be hard to identify corpses there from dental records--because so many people in Louisiana can't afford to go to the dentist. Bet that's a state of affairs you personally have never had to worry about, eh? Yes, and as the Grover Norquistian destruction of this country continues on unabated, I have been noticing that dental care, once even within the reach of the moderately poor, now counts as a luxury item that the middle classes have to scrimp and save toward--a thousand dollars a pop.

Oh, and tell me, Babs, I'm worried, why don't your grandchildren have jobs? They wouldn't be lazy, would they? They better watch out, or they'll end up in New Orleans without health care, dental care, livin' in a swamp. Gee. Wait. No, that probably won't happen to them, will it? Why would that be? If they're not working, they're lazy, if they're lazy, they're poor, and deserve to be poor. What am I missing here?

Say, Missy Babs, what about this one? Do you find this a scarey story? Suburban police officers from Gretna, LA, deliberately prevented a minimum of two hundred New Orleans citizens from fleeing Hurricane Katrina over the Crescent Connection Bridge into the city of Gretna. Gretna Police confiscated their food and water, threatened them with guns, and fired shots over their heads to prevent their flight into their city. Wasn't that nice and neighborly and Christ-ist and right-to-life-ist, protecting property over people?

Here's a simile, Babs. Do you know what "simile" means? Bet your dumb angry son neither knows nor cares.

Anyhow, Babs, that's kind of like the Brooklyn, NYC cops preventing citizens of Manhattan from fleeing the World Trade Center disaster by escaping over the Brooklyn Bridge, turning them back, and making them go back into Manhattan. Do you think this would have been the right thing to do? Do you think that happened because New York is not a slave state? Do you find this story "scarey" or not? If not, why not?

Hey, Babs. One more story for you.

Your son, the apparently terminally spoiled brat, Bubble Boy personally saved no one from Hurricane Katrina. He was on an important vacation followed by important photo opportunities, after all. I liked the implication in the Newsweek story that Bubble Boy's temper tantrums are so bad these days that it took his staff until Thursday to grow enough cojones to draw straws and be the one to tell him that his response to Hurricane Katrina was--uh--totally inadequate.

Here are examples of people who actually did something to save people: Harry Connick (drove in water truck), Sean Penn (went out in boats), three college students from Duke in a Hyundai (drove in supplies and drove out evacuees), Oprah Winfrey and friends (33 trucks filled with supplies) and the real winner, Al Gore. Remember him? The guy who beat your son in Florida before your minions on the Court selected Bubble Boy as Preznit? Mr. Gore, in addition to having correctly predicted the super-importance of the Internet well before the general public figured it out, was himself personally responsible for planning and executing the chartered plane evacuation of 270 people from New Orleans.

Gore started his disaster response planning before your Bubble Boy even got back from vacation! Gag me with a spoon, Barbara, but doesn't that blow your beautiful body-bag-averse little mind?