On Domestic Violence in the Muslim Community

Not a "not simply domestic violence" kinda take.

Friday Khutbah.

We must teach our children, especially our young men, that to be a "man" does not mean beating one's wife into submission. That is not a measure of strength, but rather profound and pathetic weakness. The Prophet (pbuh) said, "The strong man is not one who can wrestle someone to the ground. Rather, the strong man is the one who can control himself when he gets angry." We all must heed this Prophetic wisdom.

If we know that a man is an abuser, he must not be allowed to marry again and continue the cycle of abuse. Imam Mohamed Hagmagid Ali of the ADAMS center in Virginia first made that call, and I echo it. Sister Aasiya was the third wife of her accused killer, and the two other women filed for divorce because of spousal abuse. How could this be? It does not matter who the man is; if he is a abuser, and does not want to change, then he should not be allowed to marry. Period.

My heart bleeds for the family of sister Aasiya. My heart bleeds for this terrible tragedy. My heart bleeds for the countless other women - Muslim and otherwise - who endure terror at home at the hands of those who should be their best and closest companions.

And my heart burns with rage at those who think that beating their wives is sanctioned by our beautiful faith. They are terribly mistaken. Islam does nothing of the sort, and God does not accept this terrible behavior. Neither should the Muslim community.

Wake up, Muslim community! Wake up! There must never be another Aasiya Zubair. There must never be another instance of an "honor killing." Nay, from this day forward, there must never be another spouse who goes home to a place where she does not feel safe. As Muslims, who are accountable before God on the Day of Judgment, we must eradicate the stain that is domestic violence from our community, once and for all.

TV Exec Hubby Beheads Wife

Of course honor killings count as domestic violence. Duh.

Look at this stupid frame: "Are honor killings simply domestic violence?"

"Simply domestic violence?"

[coughchokechough]

<--- spits.

Go look at the US stats for DV murder, why don'tcha?

Then stick your vile misogynist minimizing where the sun don't shine.

Child Abuse Du Jour: Kid Starves to Death, World Media Whores Frame Death as Kid's Fault

Yes, please don't forget to blame the victim. Then, wash your hands.

EIGHT-YEAR OLD STARVES HERSELF TO DEATH.


Hands up, boys and girls if you, too, wonder why this starving child was not taken by its parents to the ER, a place where human who don't want to eat by mouth are fed intrvenously. And then wonder why the media pushes this total utter crap.

Object Lesson in Why Buddha Taught the Importance of Non-Attachment

Person at Hong Kong airport expressing disappointment at arriving too late to catch flight.

One More Victory for Random Parenthood

Hey. What's it all about, Alfie?

Here's new dad Alfie Patten, 13, with his newborn daughter, Maisie.

Planned parenthood? Thoughtful parenthood? Feh!


Why would we want to do such a thing, when we can spend time and money and emotional energy obsessively worrying about gay marriage and stamping out the horror that is masturbation?




Full story here.

Happily There's No Such Thing As Mormon Masturbation

The burgeoning (swelling?) Talibangelical American godly anti-masturbation movement is providing a jam-packed list of helpful hints on how to avoid self-abuse, now available for your delectation at Jesus' General:


Sample tips:

"When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror."

"When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you."

But there's more, much more, where those came from: Words of Mormon Wisdom.

How Much Can a Koala Bear?

(Antidote to stories about child abuse, christian fisting, and Dick Cheney's inner life.)

Sydney Morning Herald: Love in a Time of Bushfires

Donation link to the RSPCA, Victoria, Australia.

Talibangelical Blames Aussie Fires on Failure to Impose Government-Forced Maternity

Yes, someone really thinks that.

Bushfire coverage from the Sydney Morning Herald.




"How much can a koala bear?"

Bushfire backlash beats down blogger TMZ for anti-koala comments.

Lions & Tigers & Bears & Interesting Christian Marital Traditions, Oh My!

One came upon this just now, and one just could not resist offering up this link. One apologizes. Profusely.

"FISTING AND GOD'S WILL."

Making Theocratic Talibangelical Oppression a Bright 'n Shiny Thing That's Kinda Kewl

May I introduce: the Rebelution? And its links?

Free to Be Modest.
Ladies Against Feminism
Ruining Our Lives With Fun.
Hard Things Come in Small Packages

So who's paying for all this brightness & shininess?
Just asking.

Day of Shame

Yes.

That's it.

It's that time of year again.


Commemorating yet another anniversary of the Day of Shame.

A wholly-pwned subsidiary of the Presidency of Shame.

Coffeespit Moment: Keyboards Beware

Jesus' General just blogged this, but it is so awesome one just couldn't resist sharing the positively enlightening gospel about Godly Anti-Orgasmism (especially since one has been blogging so many wretched child abuse stories of late.)

Yes, Virginia, the Talibangelical anti-masturbation movement is spreading like an STD, letting you know intimate things about perfect strangers that you neither need nor want to know. People used to, you know, just wear raincoats and flash.

Why can't they put mittens on at night (like in the olden days Father Phil & Sister Bromeliad said to) and just shut up about it?

Samira Jassim: Rape, Depression, Suicidality, Suicide, Homicide

This lady's really creative.

Need female suicide bombers?

Arrange to have your candidates raped.

Remind them that they cannot live with this shame.

Helpfully arrange a jihadi way out.

And --boom!

Beating Some Sense Into the Non-Golden Rule Talibangelicals

On Christianity, Fundamentalism, Spanking, and What Constitutes Child Abuse

.

" . . the fundamentalist view of humanity is such that humans are viewed as sinful and hell-bound by nature. This rebellion must be addressed. The best way to save one’s child from hell is by “beating the hell out of him or her.”

In Grevens’ Spare the Rod: The Religious Roots of Punishment and the Psychological Impact of Physical Abuse (1991) the notion of using physical abuse to “break the child’s will” is explored. It is the parental responsibility to break the will so that the child will conform to the parent’s wishes, thereby learning obedience to God.

How much force must be applied?

Most fundamentalist commentators state that the parent must remain fairly emotionless and turn a deaf ear to the protests of the child.

[Thus engendering numbing and avoidance in the the parents, btw, a classic symptom of PTSD.]

The child must be struck repeatedly until s/he begins crying profusely, for that is the sign of a broken will—the objective of striking the child in the first place.

Grevens demonstrates through much anecdotal evidence that the whole notion is fraught with difficulties. . . .Citing examples of well-known Christians reflecting on their childhood, a picture emerges of children waiting during the “cooling off” period, making deals with God, and pleading with God that they would not be beaten again.

As for the love part, Ruth Wilkerson Harris (sister of evangelist David Wilkerson) in her book, It was Good Enough for the Father: The Story of the Wilkerson Family (1969), recounts how the Wilkerson children, had to face the “humbling” of embracing their father after a beating and saying, “I love you Daddy. Forgive me for disobeying.”

[Thus teaching the important lesson that people who love you get to hit you and hurt you.]

Capps, in Religion and Child Abuse: Perfect Together (JSSR, 1992), points out that this mixture of anger, pain, beating, and love is very confusing to children.

[No, really?]

They likely come to view the ritual as a pain filled affair necessary to gain the parent’s love. They must surely long for a love that might, someday, be unconditional, with no beatings attached.

[or -- they might go the way of -- Vitter?]

They plead for God to deliver them. God doesn’t. As much anecdotal evidence indicates, as adults, such children do not thank God that they had a parent willing to inflict physical punishment on them and many grow up with a very confused image of God. They have been taught that God is all-powerful, yet God did not rescue them when they pleaded with God for mercy."

Hands up everyone who perceives the relevance of the non-golden rule Talibangelical presence in the military to the government-sanctioned sadism at Abu Ghraib, Gitmo, CIA black sites?

Times R Tough: Let's Cut Back Our Social Infrastructure, Yep, The Same Social Infrastructure That Is Totally Inadequate At Present

Well, hey, it's true: times are tough.

FL: FL man arrested for child abuse:

Deputies say the report alleged that Joseph P. Gariano had shoved a juvenile victim to the ground and held her face in a puddle of urine as punishment for urinating on the floor.

There are also allegations that Gariano submerged another juvenile victim underwater in a bath tub because he was angry that the child was crying.

MA Foster mom burns 4 y. o. boy's face with hair iron, retains custody of her bio kids.

NY: 5 month old in critical condition

Police say they have charged the girl's father, Scott Archbold, 41, (above left) with causing the injuries including multiple bone fractures, internal bleeding and signs of prior abuse. Christina Benjamin, (above right) the infant's mother, has been charged with child endangerment for allegedly failing to get the child medical attention after the infant's grandmother suspected the abuse.

(What was that the Bushist fascists were saying about how every kid needs a mommy and a daddy?)

MA: 9. y.o. boy beaten so badly that "it looked like he he had been punched likes a boxer after a vicious fight."

AL: Foster Dad arrested for rape first-degree, torture, willful child abuse.

But just because times are tough, it doesn't mean we can't support government-forced maternity and random parenthood, can it? It's not as if we're unable to care for the post-born kids we already have, is it? Oh dear I'm repeating myself?

Read Arthur Silber's Post.

I'm swamped in rl right now.

But read my fellow Alice Miller fan, Arthur Silber,
here.


(and please send Arthur some really nice thing like, well, money.)

Your Tax Dollars at Work: Pushing Fundie Sexist Christ-ist Propaganda Instead of Treating PTSD

This is infuriating.

I don't have time to address it fully now, but it's so wrong across so many dimensions . . . feh.

Brainwashing "Purpose-Driven Airmen."

GOP Pushes Random Parenthood, Government-Forced Maternity

GOP slags evil Dem plan to help plan pregnancies; promotes virtuous GOP plan to fill world with more unwanted children, thus helpfully providing fodder for abuse, neglect, and (of course) cannons.

Dems waffle. Dems caving. Dems cave.

Red China Brown-Noses Dirty Bush!!

Do Not Undo Bubble Boy's Glorious Legacy!!, China begs.

Supporting the Right to Random Parenthood

Here's a cheery link: Economy Goes Down, Abortion Goes Up.

Oh golly.

What a surprise.

But get this: besides being for government-forced maternity, some rightwingers are militating against contraception! (Yes, let's return to the last century, shall we?) No really, they are.

Why would we ever want to plan our families?

Who cares if we can't care for the kids we breed? We're helping the economy by birthing more consumers who'll, you know, consume!

It's like an email I got today from constant reader Muffy:

louk, look NBFH when I cooke sundae dinnner i dont plan ahead do i. i just grab random stuff from th shelf and slap it all in a bowell & mebbe bakke it orr miccrowaqvve or evn iron it.

its just like whateverrr arises, thats kewl, u nko?

whuts rong witth thatt anyhow all yu smartypantsis wi/ yr pansy "recipp es." faugh. jusst get overr it.

Hat-tip to Muffy's Blog for Random Parenthood.

I Don't Know What to Call This Post. Oh, how about: We Can't Care for the Children We Already Have, part 2

Colorado Springs: Father arrested for causing traumatic brain injury to his 14-month-old child.

"The fiancee said she saw the 6-foot-5, 285-pound Terry hit the child more than 50 times since October, the affidavit said, and squeeze the child's head, causing the couple to fear she had a concussion."

North Carolina: Babysitter shakes 10 month old baby; infant in critical condition. Later, baby dies.

Stockton, California: Bio Dad's GF booked on suspicion of torture, child abuse, child abuse resulting in death of a 3 year old girl.

Utah: Man shakes GF's 1 year old son, causing brain injury and permanent partial blindness; judge gives perp one year.

Redding, CA: Father & Mother Arrested For Physical Abuse of their Seven Children.

Maryland: Man charged with murder, abuse in death of 2 year old.

All I have to do to find these cases is Google: "child abuse" "news." Every day there are more stories.

This is what is out there. This is what actual people are doing to their actual kids, their significant others' kids, the kids they're babysitting. Social awareness & adequate preventive infrastructure? Nah. Not so much.

Anyhow, here's the pick of the day:

American Fork, Utah: Father faces murder trial in death of his 4 month old infant daughter

The medical examiner's report [on the child] details numerous skull fractures, blood on the brain, a lacerated kidney and blood in the lining of the abdomen, with the ultimate cause of death being blunt force injuries to the head, Utah County Attorney Jeff Buhman said.

Provo police detective Mark Petersen testified that during an interview with Gardea, he confessed to punching Jasmin in the head and torso, hard enough that had he been hit that hard, it would have knocked him unconscious, said Buhman.

Sorry about all this. I'll try to write something perky next time.

Send Arthur Silber, Fine Blogger, Some Dough

Here.

And Now for Something Completely Like Other Disturbing True Storiez

Daddy chains daughter to bed.

"She was indeed chained to her bed and shackled by her right ankle," the report states, noting that she was found "emotionally distraught and crying uncontrollably."

Clark County District Attorney David Roger said the accusations against the 53-year-old father are some of the most egregious he's seen in child abuse cases.

"While I've seen terrible things done to children, this tops most," Roger said Tuesday.

Mommy's boyfriend breaks one-year old's leg.

Mommy gets probation for failure to stop child abuse of her child by her boyfriend involving bite marks, bruises, burns, and broken ribs.

Parents on trial for for reckless endangerment in death of 11 year old daughter because their religious beliefs prevented them from taking her to a doctor.

Mommy's BF beats 5th grader to death; child protective services had been warned, but deemed the child "not at imminent risk." Well, oopsie.

While we're talking about restoring the US physical infrastructure, let's put some energy into social infrastructure, eh? For a change. Oh, except that in my state, a blue state with a Democratic governor, they've just fired (oh 'laid off') case management support for people who are psychotic and actively suicidal. Well, that's a good idea. And they're cutting dwon session auths for outpatient services -- while behavioral symptoms (child abuse & neglect, domestic violence, substance abuse, crime) are going UP. Oh, and child protective service workers are seeing twice the recommended caseload. No biggie.

Hey, it's hard times. People just need to deal with their feeeeeelings, no?

O Frabjous Day!!

"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" he chortled in his joy.

Now remember, boys and girls: if you don't put aside your negative future projections just for the day, then the Bushist fascist terrorists win!

No no. Just kidding.

No threats.

But a little positive outlook just for the hell of it wouldn't come amiss.


Please click on, listen to, and most of all, enjoy Steely Dan's "Change of the Guard."

And if you're not going to an actual Inaugural Ball, you are cordially invited to attend the virtual Inaugural Ball in Second Life. It's carbon-footprint free. There are celebratory events going on all day. Just need a computer with a graphics card.) See "Celebrating the Inauguration on Your Computer" at The General's.

Na na na na, Na na na na, Hey hey hey --- Good-BYE!!

The Original Version. Well worth a listen.