Saturday, June 14, 2008

Bludgeon Me Not With Roe v. Wade

I know that John McCain is a sexist pig. He's a Bushist Fascist Republican, after all. I expect him to be a cunt-calling, dumpy-wife-dumping, Chancellor-Merkel-petting, pubic-hair-on-the-coke can, government-forced maternity kinda guy.

Liberal/progressive Democrats I expect not to be cunt-calling sexist pigs.

Or even regular old garden-variety sexist pigs.

Litmus test: IF sexist, THEN non-progressive. Q.E.D.

I mean, how hard is that?

So when those on the left side of the aisle begin shrieking like those on the right, I get a little worried.

I'm worried.

And not just about poor little cotton-candy pink Unity Pony with her big round sad eyes, puking and retching in the ER, waiting for 2 days to be seen because the hospital found out her health insurance was bogus and tossed her out of the ICU.

What worries me is all this stuff about Hillaryists being responsible to save Party Unity Pony.

Uh -- not.

It's the malign acceptance of sexism (in Big Tent Democrat's term) among so-called progressives that is driving large sections of its base into the arms of -- someone.

Someone else. To McCain/The Greens/sitting out this election/none of the above/not sure yet call me later.

This breach was caused by the behavior of deeply gender-biased otherwise adult boyz who just don't get it, and needs to be healed by actual progressive men who do 'get it'. Like sending Nixon to China. Those boyz -- and you know who they are -- aren't going to listen to girlz in the first place, and they haven't. If they'd listened when we first spoke up -- and speak up we girlz did -- they wouldn't still be in the mess that they're certainly in.

And it is their mess, not ours. It is the bilious stench of classic neanderthal testosterone-deficient sexist sniggering fratboy crap, coming from, of all people, "progressives," that has contaminated our Democratic political environment and spread through the body politic like Ebola.

It's got to stop.

Real progressive men can save Unity Pony, so
this is a call to arms.

Arise, cool dudes, and join the Sweetie Rebellion.

Ball's in your court. ;)

(Note to self: did one just indulge oneself in a rescue fantasy? Hm.

Let's reframe: Marine on point discovers dangerous enemy target, calls in airstrike, transmits relevant coordinates.

Yes, it's just a metaphor, people. But it works.)


Anonymous said...

The Bastard has your back.

No Blood for Hubris said...

You are so cool. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

The Obama campaign wasn't sexist. I don't know where people are getting that idea. All the sexism came from the media; from braying jackasses like Chris Matthews and David Shuster. I do hope the "adult boyz" you're talking about do not include Obama, because the sexism directed at Hillary isn't his fault.

No Blood for Hubris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mister Pleasant said...

Great post. My partner and I are indeed cool dudes, and have been part of the Sweetie rebellion from day one. However, we were among the first to be thrown under the bus. 'Bama tells us his religion limits marriage to male/female pairs.

The time to have denounced the blatant sexism has long passed. Any little tidbit thrown your way in the coming months will be mere pandering.

We are on the fence too. It won't be McCain, nor 'Bama. Maybe Cynthia McKinney, maybe "not present", possibly a Hillary write in. But we are willing to let the chips fall where they may, because the former Democratic Party does not get our vote until the purgers have been purged.

And to RonPaulsOverrated - what planet were you living on these last few months? That's ok, sweetie, we'll get back to you later.

No Blood for Hubris said...

I can vote against McCain with a good conscience.

And I refuse to concede the Democratic Party to the sexist, racist, lying shriekers who seem to be currently vying for control of it.

I don't include Dean in this, although I can certainly understand why people are angry at him -- not having re-votes in MI and FL was a big mistake.

But people make mistakes, and I think Dean has been mistaken, not vicious. I am hoping he will experience an epiphany, and I am working hard to create such.

One can only try.

Anonymous said...

Read this to get an idea of where McCain stands on women's rights:

You want four years of this? It may make the Democratic party less sexist, but we'll have to wait four more years to get anything addressing equal rights passed. Now, if Obama becomes president, he'll sign the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act in a heartbeat; he did show up to vote for it, after all.

No Blood for Hubris said...

I've been to the McCain website already, thanks.

I get it.

But you don't get it.

You want Party Unity? Me too.

Takes two, sweetie. Ball's in your court.

Anonymous said...

Why are you calling me sweetie?

Anonymous said...

Sigh...I used the wrong screename again.

No Blood for Hubris said...

I'm calling you sweetie because that is how Barack Obama addressed a female journalist in a notorious incident that fueled the Sweetie Rebellion, sweetie.

Have you not heard of that?

Anonymous said...

I've heard of it, but I haven't heard of Obama calling anyone sweetie over and over again. This is an exaggeration. What are you trying to accomplish?

No Blood for Hubris said...

Well, now you know from personal experience that many people do not care to be addressed as "sweetie."

And here's a link for the rest:

Anonymous said...

All right. That was a mistake and more condescending than Obama realized. I'll give you that. But why are you calling me sweetie? Are you trying to annoy me? If so, why? What good will that do?

No Blood for Hubris said...

As I said previously:

Well, now you know from personal experience that many people do not care to be addressed as "sweetie."

Including you.

Wilson said...

I realize of course that I'm stepping into a world of hurt by posting here, but what the hell....

I had no idea that "sweetie" was such a derogatory word for women in this nation. I myself prefer "darlin" (Southern enunciation)and use it quite frequently with women customers or female employees in my restaurants or in everyday life around town. I took an informal poll of the female employees and asked if they would prefer that I stop using such "misogynistic" wording or if they cared at all one way or another. They all laughed at me and said I was an idiot for even suggesting that I was insulting them by using a term of endearment. Whew! Maybe it's just a Southern thing, I'm not sure. I know that I always try to treat women as I would want to be treated, with respect and honesty and a little graciousness. I certainly do not call women "darlin" or "sweetie" or "honey" as a sign of my disrespect to women or belief in a lack of equality with men.

To stipulate that a potential President of the United States used the word "sweetie" out of habit is beyond the pale and misogynistic strikes me as rather overbearing and simplistic reasoning when McCain leaves his first wife for a prettier and richer woman and is overheard calling the second wife a c#$% when she tries to tease him about his hair. I've not seen such tendencies from Obama to disrespect Michelle or his daughters in any such manner nor any other women for that matter. Yet somehow Obama is "notorious" for using "sweetie" as an endearment?

As for me, I will continue to use "darlin" and "honey" and "dear" as a term of graciousness and respectful Southern hospitality to women until they tell me not to. Perhaps I am misogynistic for doing so, but only if you choose to look at it as so.

No Blood for Hubris said...

Of course you're right, sweetie.

It's a sign of graciousness and hospitality.

Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

No Blood for Hubris said...

By the way, honey, I think you missed the part where Obama himself admitted to having a "bad habit" of calling people "sweetie."

But I'm sure his bad habit is quite unlike your gracious use of endearments, sugar.

Oh, and I think you may have missed my references to McCain's cunt-calling? As in "Bludgeon Me Not With Roe v. Wade"?

So really, don't get your panties in a twist, read the blog, dear.

Anonymous said...

This is probably going to go unread, but...

I, for one, have called people and pets, "Sweetie" for most of my life; women, young children (both sexes) and dogs (not cats, I don't call cats anything, generally). .I also often call women whose names I don't know "Dear". This is not done with any intent to denigrate anyone. When I want to do THAT, endearments are not my weapon. I have been called a "sexist pig" by some ladies, that's fine.

If it makes anyone feel better, they can call me "Sweetie", "honey", "darling", whatever--I won't generally get offended. Now, if it's someone who's trying to get a rise out of me, they will. If it's a guy who's wanting to be insulting? well, shit, 'nuff said.


No Blood for Hubris said...

I call people with whom I am on a sweetie-type relationship "sweetie" all the time -- in fact, it is a term that honorably distinguishes them from all others.

But I don't do it to strangers.

And I don't like it when people who are not in a sweetie-type relationship with me call me "sweetie," or "dear" or "honey" including hospital technicians taking an x-ray or something. But I don't always tell them how I feel about it.

I think it is mannerly to address others in terms they find appropriate, and to adjust manners accordingly, unless there is some reason to actually violate this.

I wouldn't even insult George Bush to his face.

I might insult, Cheney and Rummy, though. Yes, I think I'd call them sweetie in a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

No blood for hubris:

Well, we certainly differ in that regard.

I would call Cheney, Rummy and Bush, murderous assholes and lying fuckwads--but "sweetie", not in this life.


cls said...

democommie: I, for one, have called people and pets, "Sweetie" for most of my life; women, young children (both sexes) and dogs (not cats, I don't call cats anything, generally). .I also often call women whose names I don't know "Dear". This is not done with any intent to denigrate anyone

But, do you call grown men "sweetie?" Doesn't look like it. So, you regulate grown women with animals and children. If you can't see the disrespect you imply by this, I am not sure there's any hope for you.

I also often call women whose names I don't know "Dear".

Really? Are these women strangers? How about ma'am? Certainly this is immensely more respectful than "dear." If they are not strangers, are they women who you interact with on a regular basis but you haven't bothered to learn/remember their names?

You may not intend to "denigrate anyone", but believe me, you are.

Anonymous said...


You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but I'm entitled to mine as well, I think you're a humourless individual who is full of crap.

I've been called all sorts of things in my life, including "sweetie" by lots of women. Some of them knew me, many did not. For the record, I call men, "guy","mack","bub","pal","dude" and numerous other things.

You're projecting your sense of what's right onto my actions. That's your privilege, Ma'am.

Anonymous said...

Re: the notion that no sexism was ever demonstrated by Obama or his campaign and that it was all in the media. I refer you to the "Brush Your Shoulders Off" gesture, the campaign taking no pains to get a retraction from Page Six for reporting that "99 Problems" was played at Obama's post-Iowa primary victory party, Obama surrogate Jesse jackson Jr. asserting that HRC "cried" in NH because of her appearance, and that she cares more about her appearance than about Katrina victims, and Obama surrogate Zbigniew Brzezinski saying HRC was "only a wife" and comparing her to Mamie Eisenhower and a travel agent.

So anyone trying to assert that "no sexism ever came from Obama or his campaign" may kindly STFU now.

And if all the Obama fans can think to do to convince me to vote for their candidate of choice is wave the withered, impotent husk of Roe v Wad at me, well it looks like they haven't been supporting the strongest candidate doesn't it. Too bad, that.

cls said...

democommie - Can you not get it through your head that many women find being called "sweetie" demeaning and disrespectful? So why continue doing it?

So, following your logic, if someone doesn't "intend" any disrespect by calling a Black man "boy," that's okay, right? Of course it's not. We are trying to tell you to think before you speak, try to choose other terms.

As an example: I used to work in the restaurant business, both as a server and a manager. There is a terrible habit now amongst young wait staff to refer to their guests as "guys" ie: "Hi guys, how is everything tonight?" Now, many people would not take offense at that, but some do.

Case in point: A server at a restaurant I worked at kept calling an older gentleman and his wife "guys" and the gentleman became irate. You see, he was a retired admiral and he felt that the waiter was being disrespectful to him and his wife. It was overly familiar and a line he felt the waiter had no right to step over. Now, the waiter apologized, but it was a great lesson to all of us servers to be careful and respectful. We decided to eliminate that verbiage when greeting customers. Not because we thought it offensive, but because some of our customers MIGHT. It's called manners and respect.

We've tried to raise your consciousness about this. What you do with it is up to you.

cls said...

BTW, I certainly have no problem with my friends calling me sweetie, darling, or some other term of endearment. What I do not like is strange men doing it.

Anonymous said...


You want to school me about being correct in how I speak to women and then you insult my intelligence by saying that if I think that it's alright to call a woman "sweetie" or some other word than, "Ma'am" that I would logically think that calling a black man, "Boy" is okay, if I don't intend for it to be derogatory. Yep, that's gonna make me want to concede the point.

Your admiral story by the way? Guy sounds like an a-hole. McCain coulda been an admiral, he's definitely an a-hole. I don't know what sort of restaurant it was but unless it's someplace pretty special most waitstaff is woefully undertrained in all areas. The problem is bad management.

I don't call all women by dimunitves or terms of endearment, particularly when it's in a professional setting. I've done retail, I've done table service, I've done sales and I spent time in the military, I have six sisters and have worked for and with women for years. Some women, I'm sure, do think that calling them anything other than "Ma'am" or by their title is derogatory. Others, I know for a certain fact, do not.

Obviously you and I will not be in agreement on this.

Here's the bottom line. If you think that Obama's "sexist" remarks and attitudes mean that you should vote for someone else or sit out the general election, I feel sorry for you. I can pretty much guarantee that if McCain is elected things will get worse instead of better--for all of us, but especially for those he has no use for.

I'm done with this.


No Blood for Hubris said...

Discusssing the use of sexist/demeaning language is not trivial.

Those who seek party unity may need to pay better attention, or they will play a part in getting McCain elected.

Unfortunately, we're no closer to a resolution now than we were some posts ago. Party Unity Pony is starting to wheeze and cough.

cls said...

If you think that Obama's "sexist" remarks and attitudes mean that you should vote for someone else or sit out the general election, I feel sorry for you.

Um. No. That's the least of my objections to Obama. They are many. Logical fallacy alert.

cls said...

Those who seek party unity may need to pay better attention, or they will play a part in getting McCain elected.

Exactly. And this debate went like they always do, with the objector jumping in to say that HE uses language like this all the time, but that doesn't make him sexist and if we wimmin weren't so fucking sensitive and humorless, we'd understand that. On the other hand, said objector has no corresponding understanding, nor does he even seem willing to understand where we are coming from, and when he can't get us to agree with him, threatens us with How Much Worse it will be under McCain, yells at us some more, then stomps out and slams the door.

Yeah. That'll make me want to support Obama.

No Blood for Hubris said...

Yes, this conversation, and its lack of progress is depressing: it takes two sides to revive Unity Pony, and democommie otherwise has all the hallmarks of an intelligent being who should be able to get it -- in a heartbeat.

In the meantime, I will regale you with a letter to the editor from my local paper from a guy who claims to be an Obama delegate from Wyoming. He suggests Obama select H. Clinton as his VP, to make a winning dream ticket, and here's how: because it would "help inoculate Obama against the anti-black 'pro-white trash' voting bloc."

The "anti-black pro-white trash vote"? I'm s'posed to unite with this?

JoshSN said...


Am I supposed to believe, for one moment, for just even a second, that you aren't being insulting and demeaning when you call it Party Unity Pony?

In fact, only Obama, who called it a "bad" habit (have you heard any major Republican call their sexism regrettable? Once?), can change any sexism in the Obama campaign. Democommie is simply irrelevant (I imagine, unless secretly a senior staffer or OHB himself).

Obama, apparently, has already apologized for his obviously demeaning comments. To the best of my knowledge he hasn't repeated the behavior. You, however, constantly demean the Obama campaign by calling it Party Unity Pony.

That said, I like Dean, too.

I like Ted Turner, who said men should get out of politics for 100 years.

That said, I don't like Hillary Rodham Clinton. The Iraq War vote was the single biggest mistake of this generation, and this from a lady who knew firsthand about what Vietnam did to Vietnam and America.

Anonymous said...

no blood for hubris:

This is a pit whose only bottom is my admission that I'm a bad person and one who is totally unaware of his bigotry and prejudice. I absolutely do "get it".

I'm not a fan of Barack Obama, or any other candidate who ran for the Democratic nomination. But, it seems that Hillary Clinton (and her surrogates) are all the "victims" of terrible things done, by Obama. It's a load of crap and you know it as well as I do. Hillary played just as tough as anyone else, she's a competitor and knows every trick in the book, just as well, if not better than Obama or anyone in his campaign. For what it's worth she spent months in the company of Carville.

And, for those who say that Obama's "sexism" is only one of a long list of problems they have with him. Get a life, it's politics.


Thank you for making me "irrelevant", I'm just fucking crushed.

No Blood for Hubris said...

Yes, I am engaging in mild snark when I speak about Party Unity Pony. I think this term, "Unity Pony" was originally coined at CorrenteWire, so it isn't mine -- I just appropriated it, made Unity Pony pink and gave her spangles and several dreadful diseases (click on "Unity Pony" to see all Unity Pony posts). Sometimes I feel like resuscitating Party Unity Pony, and sometimes I wish Party Unity Pony would be put out of her misery. (Like I feel right now.)

What people are so pissed off about is not about Hillary Clinton, per se.

It's that sexism toward her, accepted, unrenounced, is sexism towards each of us who is affected by it -- which may not include you.

And I am quite familiar with Republican sexism, as you may note in my post about McCain's cunt-falling.

I have my panties in a twist, thanks, about sexism coming from those who think themselves progressive.

But you can't be progressive and be sexist.

No Blood for Hubris said...